Happy 21st Birthday Josh....May All Your Wishes Come True

July 16, 2009... Josh's 21st birthday.

How is this possible? I swear it was only yesterday that I gave birth to him. Where did all these years go? It seemed like they vanished in a blink of an eye. When I look at Josh now, I'm totally amazed. I wonder where my sweet little boy went and who is this handsome, funny, intelligent young man calling me mom?

I wish I could say that the past 21 years were happy, carefree ones for Josh. Unfortunately, growing up in our home, with the constant tension, arguing and upheaval, life was not a bed of roses for him.

But today was a special day. A new beginning. A bright future ahead. A cause for celebration. When Josh came home in the evening after work and dinner with his sweetheart, we had a small, intimate family birthday party. As Josh blew out the candles on his cake, I noticed that he took an extra long time making a wish. I wondered what he was hoping for.

The way we all acted, you would never have known that the night before all hell broke loose in our home. Dick, Marni and I should win Academy Awards for our performances. True to our word, we did not mention the divorce to Josh or ruin his "big day" in any way.

Later that evening I was in the basement folding laundry. Josh came up to me and told me that he and his girlfriend had a discussion at dinner that left him feeling sad. I asked him what was so upsetting. His response blew me away. When she asked him what the best days of his life have been so far, he rattled off several milestone events and then said that the day he is most looking forward to is when his parents get a divorce. I almost fell over in shock. How devastating to discover that the one thing my son is looking forward to more than anything else is having his parents end their marriage. While I knew that growing up in our home wasn't paradise, I didn't realize until that moment how horrible it was for him to be a part of this family unit.

While giving Josh a hug, I thought to myself, "Happy Birthday, Son. Who could have ever imagined that what you hope for more than anything will happen before you know it. Sometimes wishes really do come true."