Nun Sense

Every night after the 10:00 evening news, I watch Oprah. This is my way of unwinding after a long, stressful day. I started this ritual when Josh was an infant. Back then, the only peace, quiet and time alone I had was when he finally fell asleep. Also, this was my sole source of adult, intelligent, stimulating conversation and entertainment. Every weekday, I really looked forward to this respite. Fast forward to the present ... life hasn't changed. I still crave my regular fix of late-night T.V. Please Oprah... I beg you....don't go off the air!!! I need you now, more than ever.

Yesterday's show featured the first non-Japanese Geisha and a group of cloistered nuns living in a convent outside of Detroit. Their stories were shared by Lisa Ling, who had the opportunity to experience both lifestyles firsthand. She traveled to the Orient, spent time with the Geisha, and had a taste of this time-honored, exotic way of life. Following that whirlwind adventure, Lisa then spent the night at the convent with the nuns. Imagining myself in her position, I could definitely picture myself traveling around Japan in a rickshaw, experiencing the culture, customs and traditions, being served tea (I love tea!!) and totally immersing myself in that way of life. Spending time in a convent, on the other hand, isn't for me. As a Jewish woman, I don't think I'd fit in or be accepted. Actually I never understood why any woman would voluntarily become a nun. However, if given the opportunity, I would love to sit down and discuss this topic with any sister who would be interested in talking to me about this, openly and honestly.

Getting back to the show, the nuns talked about all they gave up to join the convent: sex, their careers, the possibility of having and raising children, and their material possessions. Their meals are all eaten in silence. In addition, speaking isn't allowed at other set times during the day. They willingly dedicate and devote their lives to Jesus Christ, as his collective wives. Watching and listening to their responses, I have to say, they all seemed really happy, almost giddy actually. They made it sound like life in the convent was a lot of fun. In fact, one of the video clips of cloistered life showed the nuns playing floor hockey, scrabble and cards. In a way it looked like a sorority house. One of the sisters interviewed said that she never goes anywhere in the convent without her BlackBerry. Imagine that! I don't even own a BlackBerry. Another sister declared that by becoming a nun, it freed her to be who she was truly meant to be. Hmmm...

The more I tuned in, the more enlightened I became. I started to think that maybe these sisters were on to something. As I contemplated their lifestyle and all the things they gave up when they took their vows, I realized that aside from having children, (which I'm totally grateful for and wouldn't trade for anything in the world) I somehow, without my consent or knowledge, wound up making similar vows when I married Dick...chastity, poverty, giving up my career to worship and devote my life to my marriage to "God. " (*Actually, in my mother-in-law's eyes, I really did marry God. I'm sure she can't understand why I don't feel blessed, appreciative and honored to serve her son in every possible way.) For many years, I've eaten my meals without any conversation. I was silenced several times during the day as well. Our lives were actually pretty similar in many ways. However, whereas the nuns were jubilant, I was miserable. Then another thought crossed my mind. These woman don't ever have to worry about where they are going to live and how they are going to pay their bills. Nor will they have to concern themselves with obtaining their own health insurance. There's no question that divorce will never be an issue. Their husband will never compare them with other women or leave them for another. Arguing with their spouse is out of the question. Their clothes will never go out of style. No wonder all these women looked so joyful. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that these sisters really had their act together. I shouldn't have been so quick to judge.