Going from "I Do" To "I Don't Want To Anymore!"

They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet Prince Charming. It's obvious to me now that when I accepted Dick's marriage proposal, I hopped out of the pond way to early. Now all I want to do is croak.

I've been looking forward to getting a divorce for a long time.... 26 years to be exact. Actually the thought of ending my marriage came to me as I walked down the aisle to say "I do." This was definitely not a match made in heaven, nor was it one I ever wanted. However I was in the minority and it appeared that my vote didn't count or matter. My parents thought that Dick was the right one for me, his parents agreed and Dick wanted to marry me because my dad owned a real estate office. He thought he was marrying into money and would be living on "Easy Street."

Boy was my new husband in for a shocker. As unbelievable as this may sound, my in laws misread my dad's business card. It clearly stated that his office was a member of several multiple listing services and there were over 3,000 salespeople in the MLS. My new relatives excitedly thought my dad had all these individuals working for him and we were loaded. It's amazing what comes out after the honeymoon. Didn't they realize my last name was not Trump?

By the same token, my parents looked at Dick as someone who fit the criteria of what many Jewish parents stereotypically envision for their daughters "perfect mate for life" ... he was a handsome Jewish doctor. In their eyes, it didn't get much better than this.

In my eyes, it didn't get much worse. Aside from the fact that I didn't love him, he was a very controlling, manipulative, abusive individual. That was how I wound up getting engaged and married to someone I knew wasn't the right one for me.

You might wonder why I stayed in a marriage that I was so miserable in for so long. The reasons were several. Fear was a big one. My two children were another. Giving up my career as a health professional to raise them was another. Having no source of income as a result was another. Being in a horrible car accident when my daughter was six months old and suffering permanent neuro-muscular damage was another. Not having a family that would help me end it was another. But the major reason I stayed was because my husband alienated me from others, belittled and berated me, made me dependent on him financially, wore me down emotionally and mentally and threatened me constantly that if I thought being married to him was bad, I should just wait and see what would happen if I tried to divorce him. He would make sure that I wound up with nothing.

I can tell you that without a doubt he is doing everything in his power to make that a reality.