Welcome Home!

When I walked through the door, the family room looked exactly like it did before I left. Marni's Sweet 16 gifts were scattered all over the floor. It was nearly impossible to walk without tripping on something. I love Marni dearly, but my daughter is a procrastinating slob. Unless she's hounded repeatedly to clean up, she would leave everything just the way it is until she goes off to college. Unfortunately, she could care less. I'm sure her attitude has everything to do with all the friction and tension in our house. This is her way of dealing with the "mess" that all our lives have become. Surprisingly, Dick being the obsessive-compulsive neat freak that he is didn't make Marni straighten up while I was gone. Actually when I think about it, he was probably waiting for me to return so he could constantly badger me about getting on Marni's case about her "disorderly conduct."

Marni greeted me with, "What are you making for dinner?" For crying out loud, I just returned from a whirlwind weekend visiting Josh. I was drained from all the driving and this was all she could say? I asked her if her father was going to take her out to eat. She told me that she didn't feel like going anywhere. I guess I should have felt honored that my daughter wanted to spend time with me. Looking through the pantry for something quick to make, I decided that mac and cheese and left-over Sweet 16 cake were the perfect comfort foods for a cold, dreary night.

Hearing that Marni was staying home, Dick left the house to grab some grub. Before I finished cooking, he was back and placed his paper cup filled with pop from the fast food joint he just dined at on the kitchen table at the spot he usually sits at. Was he actually going to sit down and join us while we ate?

Yes, that's exactly what he did. He's such a control freak that it bothers him to no end if I spend any time with our kids without him hovering over us. While we were eating, Marni shared with me some of the responses she would give to possible interview questions she might be asked at school the next day. She was hoping to be selected as a member of the group chosen to mentor freshmen students. The competition was fierce. Marni spent a ridiculous amount of time rehearsing her answers. She went over several of her choices with me. They all sounded great until she said if she could be any Disney character (this was a possible question!) she would be Goofy. I asked her why she picked Goofy. All of a sudden Dick started yelling at me, "Why don't you mind your own business. Nobody wants to hear your opinion. You think you know everything but you don't know anything. All you know how to do is give advice." It became clear to me that he told her to be Goofy. As calmly as I could, I told Dick that Marni and I were having a discussion and not to interrupt. I then turned to Marni and said, "You are trying to be picked for a leadership position. Why would you say that you want to be Goofy? When I picture him, I can hear him guffawing and acting silly." With that Dick started up again. With a sadistic snicker on his face, he continued, "Why don't you get a job like everyone else and start making money instead of spending all of mine? You're totally worthless. All you know how to do is write checks. I work and all you do is spend my money. Boy are you in for a rude awakening. I have a big surprise for you. You will be living in poverty soon." I looked at him and said, "Whatever." At that moment, Marni left the table and said she lost her appetite. My stomach was doing cartwheels, flips and aerobatic somersaults. I was afraid that my dinner would be recycled all over the kitchen walls momentarily.

After that "wonderful" meal, Marni and I went down to the basement to talk privately. She wanted to know which Disney character I would be. I asked her if she ever heard of Randy Pausch. She didn't. I told her that he was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University who while he was dying from pancreatic cancer gave a touching last lecture to his students about what was important in life. His speech was so powerful and moving it was posted on YouTube and immediately became a world-wide sensation. Before he died, he chronicled his experiences in a book that went on to become a best-seller. I explained to Marni that Randy Pausch said in life you can either choose to be a fun-loving Tigger or a sad-sack Eeyore. He chose to be a Tigger even though his life was ending at way too young an age and he wouldn't be able to see his kids grow up. I said, like Randy, I would also choose a character that focused on the positive.

We have a finished basement. Along one wall is a built-in unit. On several of the shelves, I've placed books, knick -knacks, pictures and the decoration that adorned the top of my wedding cake. As I was telling Marni about Randy Pausch and his book, I walked over to get my copy. What I saw made me gasp. Every picture that I was in was turned face down and the wedding topper was hidden behind a pile of books. I asked Marni what was going on here. "I didn't do it," she swiftly answered. "I'm sure you didn't." I responded. Without saying another word, I put the pictures back up and retrieved the missing bride and groom. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who the culprit was. However, I couldn't believe how low Dick could stoop. In reality, while he has the body of a grown man, mentally and emotionally he still has the maturity level of a young child. Whenever he doesn't get his way, he throws a temper tantrum. I knew that Dick was fuming because I went to visit Josh. He thought he could keep me grounded by not giving me the money for the trip. He was angry and retaliated because I left. This behavior is typical for a young child who is upset when his mommy and daddy go away. Not a grown adult. Besides that, we are getting a divorce. He should have been happy that I was out of the house. Nausea swept over me. I wasn't sure how much of it came from all the commotion during dinner or because I was sick to my stomach from the realization that for over 26 years I never had a husband, but instead I was playing the role of "mommy" to an overgrown, spoiled-brat baby. The visualization of this image made me want to puke.