The Day The Bottom Fell Out

After living like this for 26 years, you may wonder what it took for me to finally get up the nerve to file for divorce. Actually nerve had nothing to do with it. Fear, shock, betrayal and what I like to think of as divine intervention had everything to do with making my decision for me and putting me on auto-pilot for the next several days.

On Friday, July 10th, 2009, I went to the bank to cash a small check. As I stood in line waiting for my turn, a voice in my head told me to ask for the balance of my two accounts. After taking care of my transaction, I asked for the status of my funds and also inquired about how to keep track of them on-line. I was told to speak with a banker. What happened next is something that will permanently be etched into every fiber of my being forever. The banker informed me that I only have a checking account. I told her that we have a money market account as well. She looked at me, turned her computer screen in my direction and pointed to where the balance of our money market account was "zero." She informed me that the account was closed out the day before. Then she apologized. Was she actually looking at me with pity and saying she was sorry??? How could this really be happening to me??? She tried to soften the blow by saying that maybe there was a computer error and I should check with the banker at the location where the withdrawal took place. I thanked her, walked to my car in a daze and drove off with the voice in my head shouting at me, "THE ACCOUNT WAS CLOSED OUT THE DAY BEFORE...THE DAY BEFORE...THE DAY BEFORE!!!"

I have no recollection of how I got to my destination. The banker at this branch confirmed what I already knew and told me how sorry she was. This was definitely my day for banker sympathy. I vaguely remember responding, "Not as sorry as he's going to be." I asked how he was able to close out the account without my knowledge. I was informed that in Illinois (where I live) only one person is needed to close an account. Who knew? Not me. Fortunately I had the presence of mind to ask for a copy of the statement that the account was closed. I also asked where the money was. She told me that because the account was only in my husband's name, I had no access to it. I asked her if an attorney would be able to get that information. She handed me her business card and told me to call with any questions.

I left the bank shaking, crying and totally scared out of my mind. What was I going to do? Even more troubling was what on earth was my husband planning to do?