Looking back over the past several months, one of the hardest things about this whole divorce process is that I have to continue to share the home with Dick. From what I've been learning, (and I am getting quite the legal education) it is very difficult, if not nearly impossible, to get the husband to move out of the house, unless he is physically abusive or threatens with a weapon. Believe me, I discussed how to make this possibility a reality with my attorney. He refused to consider this at all. Of course, he's not the one subjected day and night to this inhumane way of life. Maybe if he were in my shoes, he would look at things differently.
Being the Pollyanna that I am, I had to find the silver lining to my current status. I decided that living with Dick post filing for divorce has its advantages and disadvantages. Granted, there's very little to sugarcoat here. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that the negative certainly outweighs the positive. Even Pollyanna realizes that! However, had Dick moved out of our home like any self-respecting, jerky, low-life who used his wife till he found someone better should have, I never would have found out about Juanita and what the two of them have been up to. So do I consider this a good or a bad thing? From the standpoint of it totally destroying my self-esteem and self-worth, it is beyond horrible. Obsessing over the numerous ways I envision Dick suffering throughout eternity for the way he is and has been treating me and for dissipating marital assets, (or in layman's terms---spending an exorbitant amount of OUR money on his new girlfriend) has some therapeutic benefits. Being able to document (this is where my newly acquired super-sleuth skills come in) and prove that he is doing what I think he is doing which should help my case and sway the settlement in my favor is definitely priceless. Geez, this almost sounds like an ad for MasterCard. (Actually, it probably could be... attorneys take credit cards as a method of payment for their services.) I could see it now...
Twenty six years living with an abusive spouse ---tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees and still counting ...
Finally getting rid of the scumbag---priceless!!!
For times like these... there's MasterCard
For now, I have to hang tight and wait things out. Or as my yoga teacher always says, "Life is perfect just the way it is. If you weren't meant to be where you are, you would be somewhere else. Learn the lesson you are supposed to and move on." From that standpoint, I must really be a slow learner. It's taken me 26 years to get to this point! The Pollyanna in me says, "Better late than never."
Thursday, January 7, 2010
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