The Pair Of Docs...

What a paradox this "pair of docs" have become. Dick is head over heels in love...with other peoples' money that is. He always has been and always will be. For as long as I've known him, he's had a knack for sniffing out individuals who had money and befriending them. He figured out how much they had,(or at least he thought he did) how lucky they were to have it, and most important of all, he obsessively brainstormed about the various ways he could get a piece of the pie. As I said before, he thought I was his ticket to "the good life." When he learned the hard (and now the expensive) way that was not the case, he immediately turned off the charm, and let his true colors shine through. And from extensive personal experience, I can vouch for the fact that those colors ain't pretty. They're downright putrid. For several years, he even had the audacity to tell me that I always said to him, "You marry me, you marry rich." Of course, that never happened. I never believed my family had any money nor would I tell him we did. When he would say this phrase to me, chills would go up and down my spine and I would get sick to my stomach. This guy I married had a sick, twisted mind. Over the years, he proved me correct. So when I figured out he was seeing Juanita, without knowing too much about her, I was certain that she had a healthy bank account. Seeing smiling men on the faces of paper money specifically on bills with several zeros on them, always brings out the best in Dick. Especially when they belong to single women looking for a mate. Dick would do anything to get into her pants and ultimately into her savings.

From what I'm piecing together, Dick is pulling out all the stops to make Juanita his next bride and she is catching the bait, hook, line and sinker. Since I filed for divorce, Juanita has a new monthly visitor, in addition to her regular one ... assuming "Aunt Flo" still pays regular visits (and I would venture to say that she does, since Dick, who talks to her every night on his cell phone, loudly enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, reminded her one night to take something before she took her evening shower, then chuckled at a comment she had made, and ended that conversation with , "I love you too." ) Every four weeks, or so, Dick has been flying out to be with Juanita. He leaves on Thursday afternoons and returns on Sunday afternoons. During their brief interludes together, thousands of dollars are spent on heavens knows what. I can't even imagine where they could possibly be going or what they could be doing. (I do know how much he is taking with him in cash because this amount is unaccountable from his paychecks) He tells Marni he is going away on "business." When I ask him if he is going out of town, his answer to me is that we are getting a divorce, he can do whatever he wants and he doesn't have to tell me anything anymore.

Lover Boy is acting like he's got money to burn. He's trying to impress Juanita with what he doesn't have so she will think she's hitting the jackpot by falling in love with a wealthy doctor who lives this flamboyantly all the time. One day she'll wake up and see the phony baloney for who he really is. By then, I should be free of Dick and she can find out what a wonderful catch he really is. Throughout our whole marriage, Dick was a tightwad, even with MY money. When we first got married, he bought a small practice that he hoped to build up. I worked at a hospital in Chicago and gave him spending money out of my paychecks. One day, about a month after we married, I told Dick I was going out to buy myself a dress. He went ballistic, yelling that there is no money for me to spend on clothes for myself. A mammoth argument resulted. I went out and bought what I wanted anyway but I also came home with a lot of needless guilt. The pattern for the next 26 years was set. In addition to not wanting to spend a penny on me, after we bought our townhouse, he argued, insisted and eventually brainwashed me to believe we didn't have the funds to spend to fix the place up or replace appliances, windows, carpeting, etc when they wore out or became outdated. These sanctions never applied to himself. For some reason, even though he kept insisting how dire our financial circumstances were, every two to three years, money miraculously materialized for him to buy the latest, fully loaded Mercedes or Lexus. So, while we're sitting on torn chairs which were part of our original kitchen set, freezing in a home with rotted out windows, living with outdated, worn carpeting, window coverings, wallpaper and appliances, washing dishes by hand because our dishwasher broke several years ago, Dr. Dick is investing our money on what he feels are worthwhile commodities: himself and his meal ticket to a new life.